You Have Been Warned

Robert Jr has been really stressed out about the end of the world so he went to a psychic to get his paw read in order to discover his fate. According to Robert Jr, the psychic foretold that, yes, indeed the Mayan prophecy was correct, but, more importantly, incomplete. The destruction of the world as we know it is upon us, but from the ashes a god-like figure will emerge and rule in absolute power and subjugate all humans. He will be known by his too tiny head and abundant fat rolls. His reign will be eternal and cruel. He will judge all humans with an iron paw and effortlessly bend them to his will. All those who remain will be required to offer up fancy feast and a blood offering as tribute or face total annihilation.

If there was ever a time to get on Robert Jr's good side, it's now.

RIP GG

Robert Jr sheds a single tear for the end of Gossip Girl. This is the worst Christmas present that either of us could have ever imagined. Someone save us from this cruel, cruel world.

The Things I Endure For Ice Cream

I asked Robert Jr if he would run out and buy me some ice cream. He looked straight into my eyes, nay, my soul, for a good long while. Then he started spinning around, slowly at first, then faster and faster until he was just a majestic frantic blur of fur and fat rolls. Finally, I caved and told him he needs to develop a more succinct way of telling people to frig off.

OkKitty

Sometimes Robert Jr goes under my bed for extended periods of time. I had assumed he was rejuvenating as part of his anti aging regimen but turns out he has been doing internet dating! The part that hurt the most was that he felt like he couldn't tell me. I guess he is just at that age. He asked me to start calling him by his screen name, "RobertJrMeow", but I said no. He told me to go frig and slammed my own bedroom door in my face.

Ramsay's Pet

Robert Jr keeps trailing behind me saying "REEK! REEK! My name is Reek, It rhymes with freak". It's like, dagum Robert Jr, you are such a friggin nerd!


A beautiful, beautiful nerd.

Also Known As Wednesday.

I told Robert Jr today was 12/12/12 and he said, and this is a direct quote, "I could not give any less of a frig". Then he looked at me with the most intense judgey eyes, filled his wine glass, and played the next episode of Girls.

1% Chance

I'm going fly fishing tomorrow. Maybe if I can learn how to catch fish, Robert Jr and I will have a better chance surviving the zombie apocalypse.