I have a very limited understanding of math but I'm pretty sure that one is the smallest whole number. So, this is a open letter to Robert Jr--
Dear Robert Jr,
I have had one -- ONE -- bottle of wine tonight. Get that judgey look off your friggin face. You have no idea how hard it is to be a parent and if I like to have ONE bottle of wine a night it's not a big deal. So take your friggin squinty eyes and direct them towards the lay-about rat that hangs out under the sink or get a job and find a new place to live.
Best,
Eliza
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